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The Clitoris Conversation
Seductive Surprises - 5 min read • Feb 23, 2021
The clitoris, the taboo conversation no one wants to have.
The clitoris. The most controversial body part around. Clitoris, is not a dirty word. It is a body part, a part of the female anatomy that exists. It is real, it is present, it is tangible, yet when it comes to education its existence is avoided. Young girls & adolescence are not being properly educated about their own bodies. When we look at this fact, it's not shocking that over 50% of adult women don't understand their own anatomy, because they were never taught. Why is a female body part, in essence, being shamed? Why are we treating a part of ourselves as taboo? When we do this, we are continuing to propel a negative narrative about the female body. One that brings confusion, misunderstanding and insecurities. A narrative that says that we, as girls and women do not deserve awareness about our own bodies. I find myself asking, why is this even a topic that can be perceived as controversial, when we live in a society that is depicted as equal for all.
Did you know that in the Canadian school system, it is not a requirement in all provinces and territories that the clitoris even be
named
when learning about sexual health and the genitals? I don't know about you, but the fact we sit here in 2021, and a body part being named is controversial, has me feeling very fired up.
I want to pose a question, why is the clitoris so controversial? Maybe you've never thought about it in this context. Maybe you were unaware it was an issue in North America until this very moment. Well, I'm here to tell you that it is indeed controversial. It is misunderstood and there is a clear divide on if, it should even be named
and taught to young girls. We're talking about if, a body part, that you are born with, should be acknowledged and educated to our children. No matter what your position is on the topic, I believe you can agree with me when I say, that the clitoris is a basic part of the female anatomy. It is science, and it was created by whomever you deem your creator to be.
For those of you who don't know or maybe you, yourself, are misinformed, the clitoris is a part of the vulva. If you don't know what the vulva is, it's the proper terminology for the all encompassing lady parts down south (commonly & mistakenly
referred to as the vagina) Although the anatomy of the vulva and the clitoris itself, are misunderstood, I'll save that rant for another day. Lets focus on the basics for now, The clitoris consists of over 8000 nerve endings and it's sole purpose is for female sexual pleasure. It is actually the only body part, male or female that exists with this sole purpose.
The controversy starts with the fact, that many feel it's inappropriate to teach children about sexual pleasure, in general, but especially in the school system. My rebuttal is this, if boys are being taught about erections and wet dreams (which they absolutely should, and need to be educated about), then they are most certainly being taught about the function
of their body for sexual pleasure. They understand why this is happening, and why
it feels good, because they were taught. This should be the same standard for teaching girls about the clitoris. Many young girls will find themselves "humping" furniture or other inanimate objects because they have no idea what is going on with their own bodies. They are not taught about the function
of their body for sexual pleasure. I view this as a massive disconnect and an unjust treatment of girls and women. As they grow up, this lack of information is something that can present in various aspects of their lives. It's that simple education piece that can make the world of difference for the next generation.
Teaching girls about the function
of their body for pleasure, in my opinion, is not promoting early sexual activity. It is giving them the right to have a true understanding of their body. It is educating them on their bodies, and allowing them the right to make informed decisions. It is allowing them, the right to feel secure in their bodies. It is offering them the right to grow up in a world, where they do not have shame about their intimate body parts.
If we continue to treat the clitoris as taboo and choose not to educate our children, we are only reaffirming the message that women and girls have something to be ashamed of. They do not, in any way, shape or form need to feel shame or misunderstanding around their own body. It's truly, that simple. When we choose not to educate our children on their body parts, they become more
curious, when they do discover for themselves, that something feels good. I am not suggesting we educate on the how,
but simply the why
something feels pleasurable. The scientific facts of how we are built and wired. When we do not divulge this knowledge, that is what can lead to sexual exploration at a sexually immature age. They are more likely to explore with a partner because they do not have the necessary knowledge and understanding. Kids are misinformed and we, as parents and as educators, are missing the mark.
So what age is it appropriate to have these conversations? I don't have the answer to that question. The reality is, this generation is getting more advanced by the day. With the internet at our fingertips and trends like tiktok, youtubers and google alone, the access to information is unparalleled, to anything we've seen in our lifetime. Do you want your child asking google about their body, only to be met with unrealistic images, creating more shame? or do you want to provide them with the correct information from a trusted and reliable source. Many kids, do not have a positive environment at home, with a caretaker willing to have this dialogue. If this isn't a topic spoken about in school, those children will suffer the consequences.
I'm not trying to change the entire school system, but I am on a mission to spread awareness. I want to encourage fellow moms to look at this topic through a different lens. It is our responsibility to teach our children about their bodies. Although an uncomfortable
and
admittedly, a difficult to navigate topic, it is vital to their well-being and development. As much as we all want to think we can protect our kids, and they won't experiment or have sex until they're 30, that's not the reality. When girls grow up with shame, misinformation and uneducated perspectives about their bodies, it carries an emotional weight. This puts them at risk for many other dangers. We're talking about deep seeded and most times
subconscious insecurities, that can lead to things like eating disorders, seeking validation through partners, struggles with sex, intimacy and relationships to name a few. Simply because, we, as adults, are choosing to live in a fear based space, scared, to tell our children the truth. We need to stand up, and we need to bring a change. It is time for awareness. It is time that we stop shaming the clitoris and teach our youth, the truth, about their bodies, because they deserve it.
M
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